By no means let it’s stated that an Categorical hack does not stand by his each phrase. To wit: I’ve simply been to Uganda, assembly with President Yoweri Museveni, and I feel I might need struck a Brexit commerce deal.
You are welcome.
I used to be imagined to be discussing growth, Africa and, effectively, how marvellous President Museveni is.
And certainly this I did. However I believed, what the hell, whereas I am right here why do not I strike a Brexit deal?
As a result of, let’s face it, some bugger has to.
Our flesh pressers (on either side) appear to have wilfully and shamefully thrown within the towel on making our likelihood of a lifetime Brexit work.
As a result of, I slightly suspect, if these servile Remainer-types can present it is not working (by doing Michel Barnier and Emmanuel Macron’s soiled work for them) then they will take us crawling again to Brussels for a crushingly terrible deal.
Which Sir Keir seems to have already cravenly tee’d-up final week.
And will not the civil service blob – which is vastly liable for this damaging inertia – really feel much more smug than common. “See we informed you Britain was crap!” they are going to enjoyment of telling us.
Paradoxically the one time, post-Boris, it felt like we had somebody who really understood the wants of Brexit was when Liz Truss was commerce minister then Prime Minister.
However oh, did not all of us simply love bullying Liz! The foolish little girl!
All these emasculated, hand-wringing liberal lefties free to bask in good old style woman-hating misogyny; all these Marxist command-economists immediately bowing right down to “the markets”, that tiny cabal of shamefully grasping, self-interested, impossibly wealthy, playing addicts which the Left immediately satisfied themselves cared extra for the British individuals than the elected and serving Prime Minister.
Disgrace on us all for that one.
However I digress.
Again to my Ugandan commerce deal.
The kicker with my commerce deal, you may be delighted to know, is that we get to rub Brussels’ nostril in it and expose the EU for the corrupt, colonial, protectionist racket that it’s.
The EU’s web site is awash with self-agrandising claims Brussels is a good friend of Africa. It’s in fact nothing of the kind.
The EU’s jaw-droppingly patronising web site will inform you (with positively colonial fervour) Brussels is encouraging commerce and serving to these poor little growing nations.
The fact, as Odrek Rwabwogo (Chair of Uganda’s Presidential Advisory Committee on Exports and Industrial Growth) resignedly defined to me, may be very totally different.
“Europe forces us to promote solely uncooked inexperienced espresso beans to them, which they then course of and promote again to us as Nescafe and the like for a lot of, many occasions the worth,” he stated.
President Museveni was much more damning as he informed me: “That is fashionable slavery.
“It’s concerning the selfishness of the western nations. The worldwide worth of espresso is $460Bn however out of that the espresso producing nations of the world solely get $25Bn – and Africa solely takes $2.5Bn of that.
“It’s parasitism and European nations ought to cease.”
He is bought some extent.
Uganda’s largest export (40% of commerce) is espresso.
In Britain we drink virtually 100 million cups of espresso a day, certainly it has now surpassed tea as our nationwide drink.
However, ever seen Ugandan espresso?
Kenyan, sure. Colombian in fact. Ecuadorian, Brazilian, Peruvian… however Ugandan?
And the explanation for that is Europe solely permits Uganda to export the uncooked espresso beans tariff-free.
The roasted model would incur an enormous import tax which Ugandan farmers merely can not afford.
So the large corporations get low-cost beans which they flip into costly roasted espresso at a mind-bending mark-up.
Germany, that well-known espresso rising nation, exports greater than 250,000 tonnes of roasted espresso beans yearly with a price of greater than €1.5 billion.
That is cash growing nations like Uganda are merely being robbed of.
It is “maintain the African nations of their place nineteenth century colonialism” at its very worst. It is immoral. And the EU must be deeply ashamed.
Which is why I took the freedom of getting in contact with the workplace of our Minister of State for Commerce Coverage of the UK Douglas Alexander to recommend he and my new pal Odrek speak and are available to some mutually helpful association – a commerce deal in truth.
Looks as if a win-win for all involved.
I shall maintain you totally abreast of developments…